From Ordinary to Xtraordinary: Sheroes series : Deborah M. Cofer

For several months I have been corresponding with a wonderful woman by the name of Deborah Cofer via Facebook who has been a beacon of light and strength to me and many others.  Her achievements are nothing less than xtraordinary.  I hope you will enjoy our interview as much as Deborah loves life.  Deborah has written 5 books and has several groups she has created on-line to support all of our SISTAHS.

Interview With Deborah M. Cofer

Angi:  What are your passions?

Answer:  My passion is people.  There are so many people who have been abused in so many vile ways.  My desire is to bring hope, encouragement and inspiration to all those who need the caliber of spiritual nourishment that’s required to take control of their lives and transform them in miraculous ways.  My grandchildren Tia, Tiara, Triston and Taylor are also my passion!  I am a devout grandmother and family person who has developed the depths of the God-sense that’s required to know that our first ministry is our families.  This is where we get the chance to prove that we are worthy and more powerful than we ever imagined possible.  As most people already know, families can be really challenging and often overwhelming.  If we are willing to work with our families and help them to overcome the challenges they encounter and grow strong, then we are truly ready to help others, in the larger world around us, to navigate through the highways and byways of life.  I also have a passion for life!  I want to see the world, meet as many interesting people as I can, partake of the spas in Greece…I hear they are Xquisite, taste the fine wines of Southern California and Italy and visit the motherland (Africa) before I depart this world.

Angi:  Who do you admire? 

Answer:  I truly admire people who overcome oppression of any type.  As someone who was once a victim of childhood sexual abuse and family dysfunction, I know how hard this is and anyone who finds the courage and strength to take back their lives and transform them into healthier and happier Xperiences is to be both admired and commended.  These are the people who are worth knowing, being around and serving as role models for others.  My heroes are the ones who encourage me to be the best woman I can be, have loved me unconditionally and continue to take the time to understand and support the evolution of the woman I have become and will continue to grow into for the duration of my life.

Angi:  How do you deal with adversity/stress?

Answer:  I get away from the stressor and into an environment that fosters peace and serenity.  I pray…which simply means I talk to God and meditate…which simply means I take the time to listen for God’s words of encouragement and guidance.  Most people don’t understand that God resides within us, so He is always available to work with us, for us and through us for our good as well as the greater good of the human family and all life, in general.  All we have to do is to go inward into our inner-temples to find the answers we need and all that is required to magnify, multiply and maximize the quality of our lives.  Unfortunately, most people rely too much on their human Xperiences, beliefs and conditioning for the answers they need.  All life is a byproduct of a divine process.  Therefore, going to the Source (God) for the answers we need makes a whole lot more sense than seeking answers from the byproducts (people) of the Source.  When it comes to adversity, I employ the same process because spontaneous and illogical responses only produce illusionary results that are both temporary and incomplete.  Whatever circumstances we encounter, during our journey through what we call “life,” require logical and rational thinking in order to achieve the best results possible.  For the most part, men Xercise this process far more than women.  Women tend to be way too emotional when it comes to decision-making and therefore encounter far more unnecessary drama and trauma than is necessary.  Accessing the decision-making powers of our Higher Power (God) manifests divine solutions that produce heavenly outcomes.  There are certain occasions when we can be spontaneous, but there are situations that require more in-depth thought and the application of logical and rational thinking.  Knowing when to apply spontaneity and when to Xercise logical and rational thinking is one of the most powerful lessons we can and MUST learn!

Angi:  What sparked your desire to write the five books you have written to-date?

Answer:  The need to get in touch with my feelings and logically look at the things I’ve been through and how those Xperiences impacted on my life sparked the writing of my first book “NO PROCESS…NO PROMISE:”  A Modern Day Testament to the Goodness and Glory of God.  This book chronicled my first 47 years of life and helped me to shed some of the dead-weight and emotional pain I had been carrying around for way too long.  It was the beginning of what I call my letting go process.  The next two books “High Yellow”…But A Black Woman Forever More and White Fish Pate, Smoked Salmon and A Loaf of Raisin Nut Bread (spiritual cuisine for the healing and nourishment of the soul) helped to strengthen my connection to God and the divinity of life and accelerated the internal cleansing process.  During the writing of these books, new doors for understanding the difference between living and Xisting opened and I gained access to new realms of conscious-awareness and connection to life as it was designed to be lived.  My next two books If He’s “Hooked On P__ __ __ __” Buy Him A Cat…The Spiritual Rules For Dating, Relating and Mating and SISTAH POWER began my journey to sharing the wisdom I gained as a result of the spiritual awakening process I went through while writing my first three books.

Angi:  What are you doing for work now?:

Answer:  Due to health reasons, I am officially retired from “work” as most people perceive it.  In the earlier part of my spiritual journey, I had two breakdowns and the years of playing “superwoman” has taken quite a toll on my body.  I have bi-lateral carpel tunnel, sciatica and chronic arthritis.  Some days I’m in so much pain I can hardly move.  But nonetheless, I refuse to become a prisoner of the pain and prefer to work through it in whatever way I can rather than succumb to it.  I keep myself busy.  I’ve created a website, which is designed to serve as an on-line community where people, who choose to live a God-centered life, are able to share their Xperiences, writings and wisdom with one another.  On this site I write a daily column entitled:  Deborah’s L.O.V.E. Lessons (which stands for Life Of Victory & Excellence).  It’s designed to allow me to share the messages I receive from God with all those who are interested in gaining a better understanding of how to live, love, and let go of all the nonsense that negatively impacts on the quality of life.  I have also designed a line of barefoot sandals, toe rings with matching anklets.  And I am a live-in grandmother helping my daughter and her husband to raise their four children.  My son-in-law has two other children…who live with their mom, so altogether I have six grandchildren.  They all keep me busy.  I don’t have time to focus on whatever physical pain I may be Xperiencing on any given day.  I deal with it and keep it moving.  I am also working on several new books.  In addition, I mentor many women around the country and serve as a consultant to several women’s groups.

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that the human body isn’t designed to endure all the crazy things we do to it.  Sleeping with multiple men in an attempt to find “Mr. Right” isn’t healthy for the body.  Working long hours at fast-paced and demanding jobs…isn’t healthy for one’s mental and physical well-being.  Trying to save the world, singlehandedly, isn’t healthy for the body.  Taking on the problems of people who do not want to deal with their own lives and are in search of someone who is willing to play “savior” to their “sheep” mentality…isn’t healthy for the body.  Going through prolonged periods of abuse, of any type (mental, sexual, physical, etc.), causes the mind to malfunction and the body to go haywire.  Thus, the body’s natural functioning is knocked out of alignment with the process of its’ divinity because the body’s central control center (the mind) has become too damaged to do what it is designed to do…keep the body in good working order.  With this knowledge, I have made the decision to live the remainder of my life in peace so that I can give the best of what I have left to give and receive the best life has to offer.  This works for me…as well as supports, sustains and maximizes my sense of fulfillment and happiness.

I both realize and accept that my trials and tribulations aren’t over, because my life is not over.  As long as we live in this crazy, but beautiful world, there will always be the need to deal with one thing or another.  But I ‘ve developed a new attitude about living and loving that now supports better outcomes and I no longer hesitate to let go of anyone and anything that does not support the totality of my well-being.  Life is great for me right now and I only anticipate it getting better!

Thank you for taking the time to allow me to interview you Deborah and sharing your wisdom with us.  I greatly admire your determination and courage, it takes a strong woman to divulge such intimate details of their life in an interview.  I can relate to many of the things you mentioned such as “playing saviour to the sheep, working long hours, and trying to save the world singlehandedly,'” got me to where I was just over a year ago.

(c) Deborah M.Cofer & Angela Penn July 9th 2012.


6 thoughts on “From Ordinary to Xtraordinary: Sheroes series : Deborah M. Cofer

  1. These are wise words and obviously she lives true to her word. To share of ourselves is a blessing both for the person we help and ourselves.

  2. THANK YOU FOR SHARING MY THOUGHTS AND LIFE!!! I hope it will inspire other women to live their “authentic” selves and live the lives they were born into the world to both Xperience and thoroughly enjoy…despite the confusion and chaos that reigns all around us. You, too, are an inspiration to women everywhere!!! Love you much, Deborah

  3. Sharon says:

    A very wise lady who has experienced many things in life and has learned to deal with them rather than let them take over her life. If we change how we react to circumstances and people then they in turn must make a change and they then have no control over us. We can live then as GOD meant us to live in peace. If we all helped even just our neighbors in everyday life what a better world it would be.

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